Hello! My name is Izzy and I'am 20 years old, and I have dyslexia, for those of you who aren't familiar with dyslexia its basically a learning difficulty that affects your writing, reading and sometimes speech, however it does not affect your intelligence. So now we are all on the same page and understanding of what dyslexia is, I want to share with you my experience with it and how its been my best and worst quality, and if you also have dyslexia then I hope you can find some common ground with that I have to say.
As most stories do, its start with where it all began! Dyslexia is something your born with, but some people don't realise they have it until they are much older, growing up the main thing I struggled with was speech, my parents would just find it funny how I couldn't pronounce certain words and didn't pay to much attention to it. When I started primary school, it became apparent that other children where learning much quicker than me, my earliest memory was in year 2 learning the 5 times table, we would all stand up and say the 5 times table together, however instead of knowing the 5 times table I remember just looking at everyone else and trying to copy the way their mouth moved. Again I was so young that no one ever saw it as a problem I was just a little slower, nothing wrong with that. About the age of 8 I was always pulled out of my classes to have one on one tutoring with other teachers, to help me with my spelling and reading, I thought every other student was getting the same treatment, until I realised the my reading books where just filled with images and no words, when all my friends reading books would have words. It was when I was finishing primary school at age 10 that my teacher called in my mum to talk about my spelling and reading, my teacher realised I had a love for English but still couldn't spell simple words, use a full stop properly or read a paragraph without stumbling on my words. It was at that moment my teacher brought up dyslexia and thought it would be a good idea for me to get tested for it. The test took about half an hour, and when the results confirmed that I was dyslexic, so with this information I remember feeling kind of revealed that I wasn't just 'dumb' or 'stupid' but I was also scared to see how it would affect me in the future. Fast forward to secondary school and getting ready for my GCSE's, I loved English and really enjoyed the class, but I was still struggling with my grammar and puncuation MASSIVELY! Like easy simple words that a 6 year old could spell, I should also add that none of my friends at school or teachers knew I was dyslexic, I decided to keep it to myself because I was low key embarrassed and didn't want the 'special' treatment or extra help that I use to get at primary school, being a teenager at school can be difficult enough sometimes, I didn't want anything to draw anymore attention to myself or stick out as different in any way! So silently I struggled with the work, my homework wouldn't get handed in on time, my assignments wouldn't be completed and I couldn't keep up with the reading, from the outside it looked like I was just a lazy student who didn't care, but the reality was I would stay up some nights crying because I just couldn't do the work. It sucked. I had all the answers and ideas in my head but I just couldn't put it into words, I didn't know how to write it all on paper without it making no sense. I remember the day of my English mock exam, it was the worst exam for English I had ever done. I got the result back and I got a D, at the bottom of the paper it said 'please see me after class' I've never been so upset and frustrated with myself. The truth is I was actually in the top group of my English class because I of my genuine interest in the class, but I had to try 10 times harder than everyone else to remain in that group, but when it came to the mock exam I just couldn't keep it up and cracked under the pressure. Me and my English teacher spoke for a good hour after the class and I told her about my dyslexia and how I didn't want my class mates to know about it, she understood and said that if I won't let her help me then I need to take care of this myself and over the holidays get my head down and study like crazy. So I did. I studied like the mad women, I have never worked harder on anything in my life. I needed to get at least a C to go to the college I wanted to go to, I had 2 weeks to turn a low D grade to a C grade. Anyways long story short I ended up getting a B, a flipping B! I was sooooo happy and my parents and teacher couldn't believe it! This was the first moment I realised that being dyslexic didn't have to hold me back from succeeding, that if I didn't make it problem then it didn't have to be a problem. The next hurdle I had to get over with dyslexia was when I started to learn to drive, it took me 3 TIMES to pass my theory test, I remember failing the first time thinking it was okay, most people fail at first, but feeling so confident the 2nd time thinking I nailed it and put all my hard work into it, when I found out I failed the 2nd time I wanted to give up so much, I was getting dumb questions wrong and getting the words form the test all mixed up in my brain, basically when I try reading something quite quickly certain words jump out and I misread some words so the question means something else, its hard to explain but makes it nearly impossible to read paragraphs and actually process the words. I gave my everything into that 2nd theory test, I remember getting in the car with my mum and bursting into tears of frustration. Being dyslexic never upset me it mainly just made me mad, its like you can't control parts of your brain. I remember saying to my mum that all my friends passed there 2nd time and I was already studying more than them, my mum turned to me and said 'I know its hard for you to hear but you just have to try that little bit harder than everyone else'. The majority of my life I have heard that sentence over and over again 'you just have to try a little harder than everyone else' and its true, I do and I hate that I do, as I've gotten older I had to try harder than my friends to complete college, get my drivers license and to get a job. I have always had to try harder and honestly its been one my biggest struggles in my life, but as I have gotten older I have leant how to cope with it and realised when I really focus and concentrate I can overcome it, so if you also struggle with dyslexia or any other learning disability then please know it gets better and you can still achieve anything that everyone else is, and when you do it is the most amazing feeling.
So yeah! Thats my story and hopefully it gave you a little bit more information and myself and why in my blog posts my spelling and grammar can be completely off! Starting this blog was something I always wanted to do, but because of my dyslexia I was to scared to start, so I do apologise if my spelling and grammar are wrong, its something I'm still working on. And I hope you can take something from this blog weather you have dyslexia or not, I hope it gave you an inside to what it can be like, obviously I am aware that there are many other learning disabilities that are way worse than this, but doesn't mean that its not horrible and hard to live with. Thank you for reading! If you would like more personal posts like this then do leave a comment saying so and comment what you think about this post. Bye for now :)